It's been a big shift for me to settle into one spot after being on the road out west for 3 months earlier in the year. Surprisingly, I am finding myself right at home, quite literally, in the place where I grew up, just outside of Buffalo, NY. Each time I would travel to the west coast or go on retreats I'd come back home with a high but over a bit of time settle into sort of a diminished energy in my life. I wasn't able to thrive here for some reason. It was probably a combination of old habits, patterns, beliefs and identity that I held here. There were many layers to allowing myself to be "fully me" around family and friends who have known different parts of me since birth. Maybe you have experienced that elation on vacation or on holidays or traveling you were able to feel more fully alive? Without any "worries" or "work" or "old stuff" you are able to just be who you "are" in the present? This elated feeling happened to me many times traveling, and I was thrilled to come home and share it/bring it to my friends and family... but again it would diminish after a couple weeks.
This time things are different. I began to really listen to my heart, no matter how weird or strange it felt to do so.
I almost moved permanently out the west coast, as my heart was calling me there. But throughout the journey, my heart kept calling me home. So, rather than resisting, I listened.
And here I am in a constant, steady flow of love that isn't stopping.
I have to believe it's a combination of trusting my heart, reframing my identity, and getting really clear about my beliefs. Subconsciously there were beliefs keeping me from allowing myself to live fully here now, thinking it wasn't safe, or I can't be myself around my family and friends, or that I don't belong. It took a lot of learning about belief patterns and working on my own for me to shift these deep seated thoughts, but it has made all the difference.
Each day, I am still tuning up my beliefs so I can be more present and happy, but overall, I am able to maintain that GLOW that I used to have to go all the way out west to get... and I am able to share that with others, in a very real way.
It's not just about working out and eating right -- real change comes when we get to the root of our identity and beliefs about ourselves, and shift what's going on there. According to neurolinguistic studies, many of our beliefs about ourselves and the world were imprinted early on in our lives, before the age of 5, in fact. So, when we have these repeating blocks come up for us in our lives, and we aren't able to get what we want, it's not that we aren't "trying" hard enough, but that we need to get deeper into the core of what we REALLY want, who we really are, and what is stopping us from thriving.
I feel like I finally have the right tools to not only help myself through this process but to make a difference for others. And I am seeing it and feeling it everyday. In the Dancing Freedom sessions I facilitate in Buffalo, we are seeing big emotional releases, subtle aha's, massive physical energetic upgrades, and overall communication breakthroughs. I am also seeing great results with my coaching clients, also, who are experiencing profound shifts in their lives that many, many years of therapy did not resolve. This is POWERFUL work!
And each day, I am humbled and delighted by the farm/garden I am tending on my family's land for merge. Getting back to the earth is something really needed for us individually, communally, and globally. I was very inspired by an article about getting to to the earth from Dancing Freedom's creator, Samantha Sweetwater, about her own recent transition to living and working on a farm with her new partner, and what that has meant for her transitioning into a new state of maturation for her soul's embodiment here. She states that the job for "soul-centric human beings" is to "engage in a long dance through which we (a) embody our innate soul intelligence and (b) become mature adults capable of inspired, responsive, sustained offerings of our gifts to the world."
As I am settling into my community, I see these gifts I have been working on being able to be shared, and I am profoundly overjoyed to be of service and humbled to be RECEIVING so much from the people all around me. I am seeing my family and friends and city in a new light... and I am blown away by the love that exists here. I am proud to be part of this place we call Buffalo, and proud to be getting back to my roots by literally getting back in the earth.
To sum it up, I'll let Samantha's words speak for my journey, and yours too. She writes, in her article The Earth Misses Us:
The earth misses us. She misses our hands in her soil, our sweat, our blood, our song. She misses the grounded, awake and engaged people we become when we unfurl our lives as natural expressions of our souls. She misses the co-creative pulse of our love-in-action as we co-steward of life. She remembers what it is to trust us. She wants us to return to that sacred covenant of trust.
Living in alignment with soul and with the wild-in-all is a pathway through which we can craft ourselves more coherently as the beings the Earth designed us to be. We can rest, root and fly here. We can traverse the arc of a mature human life in harmony with All of Our Relations. We can more profoundly embody the image at the center of each of our souls, satisfying the deep inner knowing that we come to this life with a larger purpose. And through this, each one of us can, in our own way, engage in a the larger evolutionary process in which each of our lives play a part.
I hope to simply share this ripple of light and inspire you on your journey, too.
Please share your impressions and feedback in the comments below.